Irony
by yshala lynx
Summary: You held back only to realize later your mistake. If a second chance were to be given, would you take it?
1. Rui's mind

IRONY 

Um…hi!?

First, I just want to say sorry to all those RxT fans. I know that they make a great couple and I have nothing against them. But I just really like Tsukasa's fiery personality that butts with Tsukushi. I mean, it's like they sizzle with chemistry. So, to all those RxT fans, I apologize if you don't like the pairing.

Next, I want to dedicate this fic to a _very_ good friend of mine-**Sereace**. You might have heard of her. Well, if not, let me enlighten you. This is one talented writer. She blows me away with her reflections and writings. Try her. She's really good, especially with her fic, entitled, 'Love becomes you.'

Sereace, wherever you are, thank you for your convenient and _very_ helpful black jacket. It really means a lot to me. Thank you….

I also owe Sereace for this idea. This fic was inspired by one of the things that she told me. Once, she told me that if Rui didn't let go of Tsukushi for Tsukasa, if he actually fought for her instead of being on the sidelines, then Tsukushi would have chosen him instead of Tsukasa. Actually, I'm still experimenting on the idea, so somehow, this fic will loosely follow that plot.

Oh and before I forget the title is also dedicated to Sereace. Did I ever tell you guys that Sereace is an RxT fan? And to think that I'm dedicating to her a TxT fic.

In one word…Irony.

If you had asked me whom I loved then, I wouldn't have said it was you. You were the opposite of everything I was and I am. You stood for your principles with a strong determination but…with broken limbs. While I…I'm one of the kings of this jungle. What I say is law and what I do is trend. I am who I am and nothing can change it. Until there was you. I admired you the first time I saw you. You persisted and got into my system without me knowing it. Or maybe I just didn't want to admit it. I wasn't ready. But ready or not, it spread all over until you took a part of my heart that I thought would remain faithful to another. And so, here I am. I've let go of one unrequited love for another. What a laugh. What an irony, ne? Just another dead end. Take your pick. Either way it still hurts.

This is not your fault. It is more of a reassurance for me than for you. This scalding pain in my heart…God, I wish it would stop hurting so. This is all my fault. I should have known I loved you. I should admitted that I love you. I should have told you. I should have… a thousand I should haves. But most of all, I should just have never let you go. I should have let you stayed and forced you to make a choice. Maybe then, I would have the chance, or maybe then my heart would be split into two.

But surely it would be better than this. Never knowing if I ever was your choice. Ignorance is bliss…I don't think so. Ignorance, it is for cowards out there who were afraid to take the chance. Stupid fools who never knew what they were missing and will miss. Like me.


	2. going back

Chapter II

            So how was it? I hope the first chapter passed the acidic tongues of those very tough critics out there. If not…oh well, what a pity.

            She was sitting all alone in the train booth. Her hands were on her lap. Cold, sweaty and clammy. They were gripping each other so hard that it actually threatened her circulation. She was worried. Very worried. Today would be the first time she would be back in two years. She was so nervous on how the others will react on seeing her back.

            It's been two years since she last saw either of them. Her last memory was staring at his back. He turned away from her just as she looked at him. His name died on her lips at the rigid set of his back and his uncompromising posture. It was the unfamiliar way that he set himself of that made her hesitate. 

And that hesitation had cost her two years. Two years of lost time. But maybe it was for the best. She might feel his pain or maybe just his resignation. Or maybe just embarrassment, if he didn't feel what she thought he felt for her.

'Rui, why did you let me let go? Or maybe you didn't really want my love in the first place.' Unbidden, tears slowly fell from her eyes. She could still remember their last farewell…

They were at the train station, the same one she's coming back to in two hours' time. Rui was facing her. He looked at her eyes, just searching.

"Rui, why are you looking at me like that?"

"Just because."

"Because…? What? Do I have something on my face?" 

Grinning somewhat cheekily, she half expected him to keep quiet and continue with his poker face. He was silent. But after a long period, he just raised his hand and tenderly brushed it through her hair. "Tsukushi, If I…if I was-" he just broke off.

"If you're what?"

"…"

"Rui, come on. Tell me."

"Nevermind." He just smiled sadly. "Don't mind me."

Suddenly he pulled the hand that was stroking her hair then pulled her to him. He placed his hands on either side of her waist. Tenderly, he brushed his mouth on her ear. "Just let me have this moment. Please"

She tried to pull away. "Rui, we talked about this already and-"

"Shhh." He placed his finger on her lips. "I know…but just this one time."

She couldn't decide then though she knew that her heart already made a choice. They were too dear to her. She couldn't hurt either of them. And that would be what she would have done had she stayed. She would have to choose one and hurt the other. There were no gray areas, no 'just friends' sign, and in the end, it would have made all of them miserable. They both needed someone who could love them fully and not give just half a heart. Someone who would be there for them one hundred percent and not someone with confused and emotionally battered feeling. And that someone was not her. It never was and never could be her.

He slowly pulled away from her.

"Hurry up, you will miss the train" While his eyes were smarting with tears, that was the only thing he said. That was the only thing he could say.

He turned his back and walked away.

Tsukushi slowly opened her eyes and looked at the train compartment. It was luxurious and spacious but it didn't register in her mind. She was too caught up with the memories of the past. A past that she wanted to forget. A past that she will return to in less than two hours.

Outside, the scenery could only be described as wholesome as a lone train inconspicuously made its way to downtown Tokyo. 


	3. station

Chapter three  
  
Okay, this is the continuation of the last two chapters.duh! Thank you to all those who took the time to read, or to those who reviewed.  
I'm not particularly inspired today 'coz I still have to wake up early for my ROTC, but I promise that I'll try to do my best to bring justice for all your time and effort for reading this.  
  
Tsukushi took a deep breath as the train slowed to a stop. Finally, after what seemed like a long time, she came back to this place, this town. She opened her eyes and gracefully stood up. 'Tsukasa, I'm back. Will you be happy, I wonder?'  
  
She left her seat, picked up her tote bag and went out of the compartment. As she was making her way to the door, she looked out the window. 'Same old busy people going about their business. Do they know what they are missing?'  
  
When her feet finally touched the platform, she heard an ear-piecing scream.  
  
"TSUKUSHI!"  
  
Suddenly, something collided itself on her hips, or better yet, a body hurdled itself on her. In a blink, she could feel her body compressing as her oxygen level was decreasing dramatically.  
  
"H-he-help. ne-eed air."  
  
"Uh, what? What did you say, Tsukushi?"  
  
" I said I-I neee-d air!" Immediately, Kazuya released her.  
  
"Uh..he he." Kazuya out one hand in his head and scratched in an embarrassed fashion. "Sorry, just got carried away."  
  
Tsukushi narrowed her eyes to slits. She spat out with clenched teeth, "Sorry? Sorry? Sorry! Is that all you can say?" Her voice was deadly soft, but there was a mischievous twinkle in her eye.  
  
"Tsukushi, just forgive him. He just missed you, as all of us did." Tsukushi's eyes widened, "Soujiro?"  
  
Soujiro smirked. "Bet you didn't expect to see me here, eh? Do you think we would miss this. No siree."  
  
Tsukushi's mouth was still gaping open with shock. Standing before her were Soujiro and Akira, and beside Soujiro, she spied her long time friend. "Yuki?"  
  
"Yup!" Another body hugged her again in a death grip but this time she was just as prepared to hug back. She embraced Yuki back just as hard.  
  
"God! I missed you a lot! What happened to you? Are you okay? Any boyfriends? Did you dump that asshole already? Where are you planning to go this summer?"  
  
"Woah. Just one question at a time, Tsukushi. We have plenty of time.'  
  
"I know. It's just that.I missed you a lot."  
  
Yuki just smiled. "I know-"  
  
Kazuya piped out again, " Hey, how about my hug?"  
  
Both girls looked at him, "Later!" Kazuya just pouted.  
  
"Never mind him." Laughing Yuki took her arm and led her away to the exit of the station. Over her shoulder, she called out. "Hey, guys, help with Tsukushi's baggage, K? Akira and Soujirou, get Tsukushi baggage. We'll wait at the car. Kazuya, come with us, we need your keys."  
  
"You surely got them on a tight leash, eh, Yuki?"  
  
Yuki mumbled something unintelligible. "What was that, Yuki? I didn't quite catch that."  
  
Yuki just gave her a soft smile, " I said, 'I wish.' Soujirou is still keeping his distance. If I go one step towards him, he goes two steps back. Frankly, I'm so frustrated! Nothing seems to be going right! Arghh." She suddenly swiveled her head, and her voice turned dangerously soft. "Kazuya, if you ever breathe one word of this, I'll make sure you regret it. Get it."  
  
"Uh, yeah." And then he vigorously nodded his head  
  
"Good boy."  
  
. They stopped in front of a silver metallic sports car. Kazuya just got out the keys and open the door. He then went in. Tsukushi and Yuki stayed outside.  
  
Tsukushi just laughed silently, " Honestly, you treat him like a dog. You've really changed a lot, Yuki."  
  
"I'm not the only one. Even you have changed since." She just shook her head, "And even Tsukasa and Rui are beyond recognition-"  
  
"Can we change the topic?"  
  
Yuki just looked at her.  
  
"Oy, Tsukushi, these bags are heavy! What do you put in these things, your house?"  
  
"Stop it, Akira." She punched his shoulder. "Just put it in the car. Hey, how are we all going to fit, there's five of us?"  
  
Soujirou snorted, "You don't actually expect Akira and I to go here and not bring our own wheels?"  
  
Tsukushi just smiled sheepishly, " Sorry, I forgot that I was again with the rich boys."  
  
"Hey, no need to be sarcastic. Anyway, since those are all of your things, we'll just meet you at the 'Grill.' Say, at six."  
  
Tsukushi nodded and Akira turned away, probably to go to his own car. " Soujirou, do you need something?"  
  
"A-Ano. Yuki, are you coming with me?"  
  
"As your date later?" Instantly, Soujirou shook his head frantically. " No no, what I mean is.now?"  
  
"No, thanks. Just go ahead."  
  
"Okay, see you"  
  
Yuki just looked meaningfully at Tsukushi, "See how he, changed?"  
  
Tsukushi shook her head, "I don't seem to recall him being shy. He really changed a lot."  
  
"I hope that you can adopt well to changes-"  
  
"Of course, I am a weed, after all."  
  
Yuki continued on as though she didn't interrupt. "-because Rui and Tsukasa have radically became different persons since you left. I hope that you're ready to face them.  
  
Tsukushi just became silent. Finally, "When?"  
  
"Tonight."  
  
And for once, she couldn't seem to speak. 


	4. press conference

Chapter Four

            I want to thank all those people who have reviewed. You don't know how much you've inspired me. Again, thank you.

            I know my chapters are short, like some of you have told me. So the chapters here were intended as my fourth and fifth, however, I just merged them together.

            There was _somebody_ who asked me to give her a hint as to where the story will lead. I couldn't answer her because I also didn't know. I was intending to just write a three to five part story, but considering my speed and thinking/creative process, I don't think I'm _that_ good of a writer. I'm not even a good writer; I'm an amateur at best. This is not really my forte but I'm trying, so, guys please be patient with me. Thank you.

            And lastly, there will be some discrepancies between my fic and that of the original manga/ tv episodes. So just bear with me.

            _This was it…. Show time, here I come._

            Tsukushi took a deep breath, and then stepped outside. Instantly, a hundred shouts were simultaneously heard. Pictures were being snapped at. Blinding lights and rabid fans were suddenly clamoring to step forward. 

Thank God for the twenty or so bodyguards blocking their way. Tsukushi inwardly sighed. _If everyday gets like this, I swear I'll quit doing this job. _It's not that she hated her job. No, not by any means. Being an actress is great...sometimes. Because if one really thinks hard about it, there were also a lot of sacrifices being made. Especially if you were Tsukushi. You have to wake up in the ungodly hour of four o'clock for a shooting, be jet lagged because of a promotional tour or something to that effect and feel like crap because of lost sleep. But at least you get _the pay_.

_That's what counts isn't it? Real world will always mean you need money. If you don't have any then poor you._ Tsukushi smiled faintly. Again, the fans roared their approval. 

  She inwardly chuckled. _A small smile and it makes them happy? _She smiled wider and waved to her audience. The blinding lights almost became unbearable and you can hear shouts and shrieks of various people. Teenagers, adolescents, college students, working class and even some elders, you name them.

This is what sometimes bothers her about the job. So many people would recognize you. Whether you go out in a casual or just a formal event, somebody will always be bound to know you. This was the reason why she took the train. Nobody would expect a movie star to just ride a train like a normal girl.

But of course, never underestimate the power of the media. Too bad for that reporter. Grr… 

She thought she could get away with it as she did in the train. So of course, Tsukushi being Tsukushi just up and went downtown. She went to 'The Grill' that night and lo and behold, and a sneaky reporter just trailed after her without her knowledge. And now, here she is. Great, just great. Grrr….All and sundry know that she's back in Japan! Just because of that sneaky bastard. _If I get my hands on him….Grr…Just wait!_

" Ahhh… my lovely leading lady has entered the scene. At last, I will be lonely no more." A deep and firm voice said, jolting Tsukushi back to the present.

Tsukushi raised he eyes to that of her co-star in her next movie, Jeice Matsuki. She had to admit, he was one of the best-looking guys she has ever laid her eyes upon. Standing a proud six foot three inch height frame with a muscular body and a perfect posture. Not to mention a pair of dimples and an adorable cleft chin. It was no wonder that he had many fans all over the world and many movie offers. If she just wasn't in love with a moron and if Jeice wasn't one of her few close friends, she would probably be holding a torch for him and also running after him.

" You know as well as I that you can never be lonely. Men like Adonis always has a lot of admirers trailing behind." Tsukushi quipped.

Jeice just looked at her in a bemused fashion, " You may be right then again, maybe not." He just pulled her chair for her then proceeded to guide her to her seat. Again, many cameras clicked with this action.

While trying to assist her, Jeice leaned closer to her, nearly kissing her ear, "Kushi, Kata and Tony wants to meet us backstage later." 

Kata and Tony were Tsukushi and Jeice's managers, respectively. Tsukushi was curious as to what the meeting was all about. They hardly, if ever, had a meeting. All they say are 'go for it' and the usual things that managers do- fix appointments, try to get the good deals, bargaining and negotiating with the companies, and of course, taking care of their charge. " Do you know what the meeting is all about?"

Jeice just mischievously smiled and conspiratorially whispered, " Something about your actions yesterday, I think…or maybe a Hanazawa Rui in particular or was it Domyouji Tsukasa?"

"Wha--!"

" Close your mouth, we wouldn't want the press to get the wrong idea now, would we?" he said with a twinkle in the eye and then in a louder voice, "What a very beautiful sight you make, Kushi, all pink and…shocked? Didn't you ever think that I could also be a gentleman?" And then Jeice also took a seat.

If possible Tsukushi became even redder in the face. She glared at him, then she gritted her teeth, and in a low voice she replied, " Jeice, I'm warning you, once I get you alone…."

He just spared her a sheepish glance, " I know, Kushi. Sorry can't resist."

And through all this, the media just kept on taping and clicking their videos and cameras. At last, the start of the press conference.

All throughout the conference, there were some teasing and laughter, all courtesy of the couple. The talk was kept light. The public exposure was mainly due to their upcoming movie, "Sands of Time." It was rumored to be one of the best films of the year, hence the flocking of the public and the media.

Personally Tsukushi thought that the press conference was a little too much. Almost everyday, there were fans and media that needed to be humored. She had to go through a dozen questions all because of the movie, which was scheduled to have its premiere six weeks from now. They were done taping just two weeks ago but the press was still covering them since the start of the script, which was about five months ago, until now. Don't get it wrong; she loved the fact that something she worked hard for gets attention and praise both locally and internationally. It's just that she couldn't see what it was that held the attention of the public. Almost the whole plot and scenario was out in the open and yet it was still a hot topic for everyone.

"Sands of Time" is about a woman searching for her lost love, which Tsukushi plays. She and Kian, the man Jeice was playing, were separated eight years before when she was having a crisis in her life. She wanted to go out and explore the world, she wanted to be free, and most importantly, she wanted to know whether what she was feeling was real or just an illusion. She was doubting her heart that time, because the man that she first loved, Kian's brother came back. And then eight years later, she came back and that is where the _real_ movie begins.

_Kind of like my life when one really thinks about it hard enough_. Tsukushi thought and then she concentrated hard on the conference so as not to miss out much. _Kind of hard when this will again be broadcasted later. Oh well, I should at least give my best. These people worked hard just to get here. _

One reporter was insistently raising his hand in question for quite a while. Tsukushi felt like there was something brewing, but then you have to face everything. _I would probably regret this. _She then perked up and said, " You there! What's your question?"

"Miss Makino, is it true that the movie was somehow paralleled to your life? Is that the reason why there were some scenes you insisted on changing? What is your real opinion about the plot and the script? Will you give a comment about your real relationship with Mister Jeice Matsuki and the CEOs of Hanazawa Corporation and Domyouji Corporation, Mister Rui Hanazawa and Mister Tsukasa Domyouji, and I believe the rest of the old F4, whom you were seen dining downtown, two days ago? It was said that they didn't go out together anymore, so it really is somewhat a miracle that they were spotted downtown, with you no less."

Tsukushi wasn't phased out of the order of questions because she was an expert in those. However, she was slightly touchy about the subject being brought out._ Personally, I think it is really none of your business. _But of course, in showbiz, your business is everybody's business. Especially if it involved high profiled figures.

She really didn't know how to answer the question from the heart, fortunately she made plans accordingly when she read the front page yesterday morning.

She managed a small giggle. " Well, let's see. For your first question, I would say that there are some similarities; Sakura and I have both the same personalities. The name might suggest a fragile look but in character we're-"

"Miss Makino, I'm not referring to physical or emotional ties you have with the character, I'm referring to the basic plot, your romantic life, per se?"

A ripple of murmurs went through the crowd.

Tsukushi mentally frowned. " I was getting to that if you just had let me continue. As I was saying, physically and mentally, Sakura and I have some things in common. But as far as romantic figures go, I would say that there are some… things in common and some that were not. And next question, no, I draw the line between my professional life and my personal life. The scenes were changed for the betterment of the whole movie. Those that didn't make it to the final cut were not meant for it, I guess. Also, for more information, I wasn't the one who changed it, the producers and our director did." Well, actually they did technically, but she had influenced them just a _tiny_ bit. She stopped and took a deep breath. " And my opinion about the script and the plot, is as I said five months ago, fantastic!  As to my relationships with both Jeice and the F4, they are my friends. The F4 became somewhat… friends of mine in college while Jeice became a very good friend of mine, since our first movie, three years ago. And I hope that satisfies your curiosity."

" So Miss Tsukushi, would you say that there are no possibilities of you and Mister Matsuki? It seems like an eternity since you've been paired up with each other."

She just laughed gaily, " Oh, we're just friends."

The public and the media just tattled and laughed disbelievingly.

Oh well, that's what you get for saying the truth. Damn if you do and damn if you don't. And after that, the conference just went back to a normal light conversation.


End file.
